College is Dumb.

As of today, it has been four months and two days since I’ve graduated from Boston College. And what do I have to show for my shiny new $216,000.00 degree?

Not much.

At all.

Shortly after graduation, countless people said to me, “Oh, you went to BC? And you were an economics major?! Don’t worry, you should be rolling in dough in no time!”

Lies and deceit.

I honestly thought by now I would at least be somewhere near the path to fame and fortune. But alas, I’m not even in the same stratosphere as slight recognition and a comfortable living.

Therefore, I have recently come to one major conclusion: A college education is quite possibly one of the biggest swindles in recent American history.

Boston College is one of the most reputable universities in the country. It prides itself on not just having stellar academic programs, but also how its Jesuit Catholic heritage breeds “men and women for others.” They charge an exorbitant amount for their education because they believe that after spending four years on The Heights, all students who pass through those hallowed halls will have the business acumen of Donald Trump and the pious compassion of Mother Teresa.

Well, would you like to know what I learned in college?

How to make mac and cheese.

And that I might have a slight gambling problem.

If you were to ask me right now to explain the fundamentals of Keynesian economics, I couldn’t tell you anything besides the fact that Keynes was British. Honestly, I probably couldn’t tell you much more about economics than you can find out for yourself on CNN or Google.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not stupid by any means (I graduated with a 3.48 GPA, which is certainly not an easy feat to accomplish as an econ major at BC. But I digress…). However, if you talk to any random assortment of economics students, they might express a similar sentiment. We know enough to pass the tests, and pretty much forget the material at the end of each semester.

I mean, let’s be real. Who actually goes to college to learn these days?

The most memorable moments I had at BC were those random nights partying with my suitemates, cooking Sunday dinners, and even the occasional impromptu road trip to the casino. I not only made some great friends, but true sisters that I know will always be there for me through the good times and the bad. And I certainly learned a lot about myself in the process.

So although I can say that college made me a better person, I can’t say it made me a smarter person.

And that’s a damn shame.

My diploma is really nothing more than a reminder that I now know what a “sweatbox” is and that the Borgata is the best hotel in Atlantic City. 

Welp. It’s not like anyone wants to hire me with a stupid little bachelor’s degree anyway.