Sunday, September 25, 2011

College is Dumb.

As of today, it has been four months and two days since I’ve graduated from Boston College. And what do I have to show for my shiny new $216,000.00 degree?

Not much.

At all.

Shortly after graduation, countless people said to me, “Oh, you went to BC? And you were an economics major?! Don’t worry, you should be rolling in dough in no time!”

Lies and deceit.

I honestly thought by now I would at least be somewhere near the path to fame and fortune. But alas, I’m not even in the same stratosphere as slight recognition and a comfortable living.

Therefore, I have recently come to one major conclusion: A college education is quite possibly one of the biggest swindles in recent American history.

Boston College is one of the most reputable universities in the country. It prides itself on not just having stellar academic programs, but also how its Jesuit Catholic heritage breeds “men and women for others.” They charge an exorbitant amount for their education because they believe that after spending four years on The Heights, all students who pass through those hallowed halls will have the business acumen of Donald Trump and the pious compassion of Mother Teresa.

Well, would you like to know what I learned in college?

How to make mac and cheese.

And that I might have a slight gambling problem.

If you were to ask me right now to explain the fundamentals of Keynesian economics, I couldn’t tell you anything besides the fact that Keynes was British. Honestly, I probably couldn’t tell you much more about economics than you can find out for yourself on CNN or Google.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I’m not stupid by any means (I graduated with a 3.48 GPA, which is certainly not an easy feat to accomplish as an econ major at BC. But I digress…). However, if you talk to any random assortment of economics students, they might express a similar sentiment. We know enough to pass the tests, and pretty much forget the material at the end of each semester.

I mean, let’s be real. Who actually goes to college to learn these days?

The most memorable moments I had at BC were those random nights partying with my suitemates, cooking Sunday dinners, and even the occasional impromptu road trip to the casino. I not only made some great friends, but true sisters that I know will always be there for me through the good times and the bad. And I certainly learned a lot about myself in the process.

So although I can say that college made me a better person, I can’t say it made me a smarter person.

And that’s a damn shame.

My diploma is really nothing more than a reminder that I now know what a “sweatbox” is and that the Borgata is the best hotel in Atlantic City. 

Welp. It’s not like anyone wants to hire me with a stupid little bachelor’s degree anyway.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Catch a Playa by the Toe...

I have a man problem.

Of course, since I’m so extraordinarily beautiful (BBM winky face), it’s only natural that I have to fight off the men folk approximately every 94 seconds.

Actually, I guess I have 2 man problems.

Lately, I’ve noticed that as soon as I stop being involved with one guy, I get involved with someone else. And by soon, I mean soon. Like in a matter of days.

It’s not like I do it consciously, though. I’m by no means one of those girls that are dependent on a man to make them happy.

Well, at least I think I’m not. The problem is, I haven’t really had the chance to be by myself and find out if that’s the case.

But I have tried.

Recently, one of my linesisters and I decided that we were going to go on a man cleanse. No dates, no giving out our numbers, no romantic encounters of any kind with the opposite sex. Just us and Jesus for three whole months. Unfortunately, we decided to embark on this mission the week before the Omega Psi Phi Centennial was here in DC.

Needless to say, our man cleanse lasted for a grand total of 5 days.

Although the man cleanse was extremely short-lived, I did learn a few valuable lessons from my time of reflection.

Lesson #1: You always want what you can’t have.

The first thing I noticed was that the very next day after I publicly declared my man cleanse via Twitter, men literally started coming out the woodworks. The guy I was talking to at the time was obviously less than thrilled about me taking myself off the market, but then other guys who I hadn’t spoken to in quite some time, and even a few new ones, started popping up all over the place! My “Closed for Business” sign might as well have read “Grand Reopening.” The thirst was all too real.

Although, it could have also had something to do with the fact that I got my new 24” Indian Remy installed around that time. Nwords just lose their minds when they see all this extra fineness in these streets!

Stuntin’ is a habit. Get like me.


Lesson #2: I suck at dating.

Granted, I’m still very young and I have plenty of time to find “The One,” (although if you ask some of my family, I should already be halfway towards the altar) but there are some dating patterns that I need to fix immediately if I want any chance of being in a long-lasting relationship in the future. 

The main revelation I stumbled upon was that I tend to date beneath me, for lack of a better phrase.  I’ve been well aware for some time now that I’m the greatest person to currently walk the earth, so understandably it’s hard for me to find someone that’s actually on my level. But that doesn’t mean that I should settle for guys who don’t even realize how much of a privilege it is for me to even look in their direction, much less be with them. When I’m with someone, I always treat them like a king, thus I shouldn’t tolerate being treated like anything less than a queen.

Apparently this whole dating beneath me revelation wasn’t news to anyone else (I believe the exact words of both my LS and one of my former roommates were, “umm… duh! I could’ve told you that a long time ago!), but I guess I just had to figure that out for myself. Moving forward, I don’t think I’ll put myself in the same predicaments now that my tolerance for male nonsense has significantly diminished. Quality over quantity is definitely my new motto. Like my momma always says; when you know better, you do better.

And to be honest, I think I’m doing better already ;)